Good. I was naked most of the night. But sometimes I would wear my tux vest...But only my tux vest. It was classy
Lost is over, my longest committed relationship is coming to an end.
I am dripping wet and slathered in glitter and banana mush. I love gay guys.
My relaxing drive may end up as a surprise bootycall in Pittsburgh. Don't try to stop me.
ok is that genuinely the first four bars of mozart's symphony #40 sharpied onto my arm or
Got home last night and found a Big Mac in the shower, tampons all over the place, and two pairs of your panties on the front porch.
I'm sitting in my room naked waiting for him. When he gets here im going to make him do 20 pushups and lick my clit for a hour
Also, they sell weed-chocolate covered strawberries. For the romantic stoner.
That was one of the best texts I got today
She just spat tequila at me... Like a fountain... A broken fountain
I went through my entire iTunes library and made a playlist called "Feelings". I have 7.5 hours of feelings.
The guy I made out with the other night fed me chipotle favored funions and I thought it was true love when I was drunk.
It was a good dick. I give credit where credit is due. A good dick deserves praise.
I hate that I will forever be known as the girl who puked on the front lawn. That only happened once.
Going to the pool bar doesn’t exactly count as “exploring”
I hate when he takes the condom off to cum all over me. It defeats the purpose.
It’s like having a barf bag and choosing to puke in your own lap.
Randomize