ok i said sorry. what else do you want?
100 blowjobs
he just stuck his car key in my belly button, made car starting noises and pretended like i was revving my engine?
note to self... there IS such a thing as having too many birthday shots...
I want a nosebag of coke after my exam. Like what horses have. Coked up horses. No excuses. I love you.
in case you were wondering, even a BJ under a blanket on the back of a bus only lifts a 14-hour bus ride to borderline tolerable.
Just asking. Could've given you a lap dance in a sombrero, drenched in corona and tequila.
God Bless cinco de mayo
I think I may have accidentally stepped in fire
I'm trying to get fucked by 4 girls here, and you're worried about verb tenses?!
because of daylight savings time I lost an hour of sex with an incredibly hot guy last night. thanks a lot farmers.
I'm like a freaking volcano of life and sexual frustrations
I need a drink. No, several. I need several drinks. Drunk, I need to be drunk. Definitely need to be drunk
Who brings a stripper home to ninja turtle bed sheets
Me and I got head
Idk I saw a cheetah print onesie and it reminded me of your Lion King fantasy.
You stumbled into the hotel room escorted by security and then went into the bathroom sat by the toilet, threw up for hours while slamming your head on the wall and whimpering "why" over and over.. I went to bed
Tbh I’m not a vibrator enthusiast
But I am godly
Randomize
