Please forgive me. I will pay for your emergency room visit.
i just thanked the atm machine for giving me cash
stayed up until 6am doing my presentation on buddhist art and the practice of chanting. took shots. did drugs. the powerpoint now includes a sesame street style game (with chicken/puppy clip art), an xzibit music video (and quotes about section eight and eating steaks), and a reference to a german metal band (universe). this is going to be the best presentation ever
I just threw up in a patch of wild flowers on the side of the road. I never knew rock bottom was so beautiful.
I really hope he dies in a tragic kegstand mishap
No no no no no. Not interrested. She looks just like Kim's fat booth picture. Only real.
he tried to do a one handed cartwheel to showoff but knocked himself out cold. fuckin jagerbombs will kill that man.
I hear sloppy seconds go great with fried rice
Dude, I puked in the stall for God knows how long. Halfway through, a kid sits down in the stall next to me and starts jacking off, i heard the porn on his phone and everything. so FYI, the middle stall is where good nights go to die
Needs to be more caveman. "Me kill roommate. You watch. Then sex time with our genitals."
she said she just "wanted a guy who she could cook breakfast for". HUGE MISTAKE. I'm never leaving
ok I know you arent happy with the way we ended but paying someone to pass me an STD is TOTALLY FUCKED!!!
This can only be settled by a dance off.
oh i see... well this is a positive first step in you courting him for sex.
Same way I cope with everything else. With dildos, dunkin and depeche mode
Randomize
