I walked up to her and said hello and wanted to ask her if she had fun last night... she asked me if we had met before.
I'm to the point in my high that every song eventually turns into Lady Gaga
Shit sorry. Maybe I wont give you this sweet ass fanny pack I found in my parents attic
yea i thought the egg drop soup tasted weirdly like cum, and then i suddenly remembered what happened last night.
i'm never eating chinese again.
Down at Ground Zero right now. So many people here. It's the most patriotic game of grabass Ive ever seen.
After the Jell-o shots and about 6 shots of lighter fluid brand tequila, it got to the point where breathing was painful. All I could do was pray I didn't fall asleep in the front yard.
So he's compensating for a really small penis. Either that or he's a drug lord.
I was woken up in my old house by the new residents ... I don't even have a Key anymore
Guess who just got a Christian Beliefs class to seriously discuss the spiritual implications of dolphin rape?
I just realized I donated our bong to goodwill.. RIP Kimbo Slice
You suck, She hit so hard.
We're gonna be late. Scott went too far predrinking amd tried pierce his own lip with a poptab. Save me a beer, i'm gonna need it.
who is that guy in your bed? he looks like jesus..way to keep it festive
Never underestimate the power of titties
Are you still passed out in my back seat, or do I need to come find you?
I need like a billion tiny bottles of alcohol to put in the patron pinatas
Randomize
