hey no worries the mystery has been solved- i jst sneezed and my undies popped outta my nose.
hahhahahha. mid doggie-style, i faked an asthma attack. the sex was that bad
I think I would be able to remember how to smoke but I can't seem to remember how to breathe.
The mystery has been solved. Seagulls have sex doggy-style.
You kept making that girl eat peanuts, saying they were good for her baby..... I don't think she pregnant
We haven't even moved into the apartment yet and she has already screwed two of our neighbors. This is going to be the longest 12 month lease of my life.
Ok more importantly someone in a chicken costume just stepped in front of my car and started breakdancing...
He pulled a condom out of his satchel and i questioned my entire life.
I still have way too many Frat houses to get blackout drunk at before I'm get in any type of relationship
she just stared at nothing and then looked at me and goes, "that's a weird place to put the wall"
I just don't understand how she's willing to go through so much planning and effort just to get a dick inside of her
Woke up in the ER with a nurse holding my tongue together inside of my mouth and a shattered jaw, the last thing I remember is opening the 151, care to fill me in?
I'm in public and Taylor Swift is playing. It is taking all my effort to not screech like a goat.
Showed up to pick her up in my boxers. Lets just say im 2 for 2 with this new idea
Side piece definitely knows about my GF. Said it was sexy when I go commando, then left me pantsless in the club bathroom
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