Just saw a man jogging. For recreation. At 3am. Who's he training to be, batman?
This girl is more easily done than said...
im the poster child for why you shouldnt play beer pong with wine.
You told him you were auditioning guys for your new show: "So You Think You Can Fuck."
Best pick-up line ever!
He tried to use a signal flare to light the bong
And?
He melted the stem
I just heard a 350 lb guy with a stutter describe getting blood in his eye as he was shanking his cellmate and, more generally, how to survive as a white guy in jail.\n\nYou should really consider going to some AA meetings
He put my hand on his penis and said welcome home.
Chipotle. Because when you've had diarrhea for 6 days why not just make it 7
If by "Are you high?" u mean "Did you just pass out at Genghis Grill walking to your table and falceplant?" the answer is yes.
I'm not sure. But a mason jar of drug free urine just as soon as anyone can would be so awesome.
brushed my teeth nine times since getting home, still afraid there are pubes hiding in between my molars. fucking gummy bears
Is a coke binge Whole30 approved?
If by fun you mean, did I meet her cousin for the.first time and bang him, then yes it was a productive evening.
there must be tiny pirates in the freezer stealing our rum.
im on a boat
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