Just saw an Asian guy riding his razor scooter to class. Dreams do come true
obviously my correlation between being a pro surfer and being extremely good in bed was 100% wrong.
After skinny dipping in your pond, I think me and tequila have added a whole new dynamic to our relationship.
Note to self not a good idea to try and make out with a girl when she's crying over her boyfriend
I KNOW. I'm like, ew who are these ppl. And then I remember I'm traveling to New York to accidentally hook it with two different dudes in one weekend.
you came home soaking wet, and when I asked where your umbrella was, you pulled it out of your bag and were so proud you kept it dry.
i may have reached my "but im high so it's cool" quota for the month.
i didn't realize we were even dating until i ran out of weed
I'm pretty sure the guy in front of me at Walmart doesn't have good plans. It's one am he is buying a flash light and black bandanna
Strangers are buying me shots and I got hit on by lesbians. How is it only tuesday
We were supposed fuck one time, but ended up fucking for 2 years.
He literally ejaculated and I hit Uber
just ran into my father at CVS while buying condoms...he winked at me. I really need to move out of this town.
I was just at the gas station and happened to look left and see a girl blowing some guy. How was your night?
I've decided I will have no shame for the things I don't remember doing.
Randomize
