okay serious question, the water is shut off in your house, do you attempt and use the clean toilet water for your new bong?
Getting up at 8 this morning to drink could be the best and the worst idea we've ever had
Someone's playing Limp Bizkit out loud on the train. I think the decade reset it self.
just added God to my list of friends who can only see my limited profile on facebook. its such a relief to know that He can't watch me fuck up my life anymore.
like the only thing i remember is bringing a piece of toast to the bar...
Did you ever stop and think that god invented whiskey dick specifically for me
Say what you want, but those Fraggle Rock DVDs have gotten me laid twice.
My little brother just suggested we drink the rest of the vodka because it's raining. My job is complete.
Leaving your birthday party to engage in a threesome IS allowed. I checked the rule book.
We got kicked out of the ice rink last night for drinking and checking strangers... but they let us keep the beer
Sorry about the weird guinea pigs text. I was drunk and they were freaking me out
So I had sex in a bulldozer lastnight now that's definitely a first...
I met my future husband in an elevator. Think Hispanic version of Dr. Bunsen Honeydew from the Muppets, but with eyes like Michael Fassbender.
friends who go to the bar together leave the bar together and im not leaving you behind ohana means family
might I remind you I fucked a 21 year old and almost did coke with strangers? you definitely came out on top
Randomize
