I'm laying in your front yard are you home
I'm 99% sure that for 3 hours I thought you were British. We must smoke that again.
we were in your room and your mom was singing twinkle twinkle little star in the hallway. so you decided to scream "twinkle? TWINKLE! What Fucking little star?!"
I used to practice getting hit by cars.
No night ever ends well that starts with "you know what this needs? More tequila".
i projectile vomited shoeless at 7:30 a.m. in a taco bell parking lot. never again.
We joked about how funny it would be if he got pulled over with 300 breakfast burritos in hus car. We walk outside of the school just as the police lights turn on and pull him over
You're the only person I know that could get laid while visiting their grandpa in florida
She had a belly button piercing in the shape of a cross. Talk about mixed messages.
Judging by his bulge. This guy is going home with me. Who doesn't want a dick that looks like it used to be a pillar in Rome.
He found his first fuckbuddy I'm so proud I feel like making him a card or something
My date bailed but I got to take a nap so I'm cool with it.
This place is a maelstrom of dicks.
I mean as in stuck up bastards, not actual, desirable male genitalia. My point is, come pick me up fast, please!
First of all she starred talking about God which immediately killed my buzz
Fuck him. He can bang that skeezer all he wants. Fuck her lawyerness I’m a YouTube star
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