Bullshit. I know you're watching The Dog Whisperer
That Cesar Milan is captivating
Btw the nut in my hair goes great with my outfit !!! :(
so now that im really awake i see that my underwear are completely ripped down the side, my shorts are on backwards, i have to go get plan b....i call last night an epic fail or success depending on how catholic i am feeling
I woke up this morning to 4 booty call texts. So i am trying to find the sign that says i like to sit on cocks so that i can take it off.
trust me, i wonder where that sign is on a daily basis.
grilled cheese. we just shotgunned grilled cheese.
i'm not a hellocoptur, but youer in a dorm ans im un a dorm
And next time please put a text between discussing my orgasms and discussing your son - that was weird.
Should I tell him the real reason I was in the hospital, or should I just keep him thinking the side effect he thought was in for was allergy related, not I just miscarried the child I didn't know we were having?
Me and him were fist fighting in the back of the cab and I offered the driver a 100% tip to call him an asshole. I don't know why.
the breathalyzer kept saying danger. we made our new slogan danger we need more shots
Captain America stopped by our tailgate. He ate a taco.
yesterday pre dick pic he said "no disrespect to your situation but i cant wait to get ahold of you again in the future" is this how people network??
I was so high. I had so much hair. It was like all my hair follicles exploded.
Someone just asked me if I was chewing red hot gum.... I'm LITERALLY SWEATING OUT FIREBALL.
its hard to say precisely how it happened, but the next thing i knew i was on top of a mountain
Randomize
