Reason #437 to hate Louisiana: Just went to the public bathroom at work. It was so humid the toilet seat was damp and sticky. Either it's the humidity or I sat in somebody's yesterday piss. I choose to believe the humidity.
this crazy girl in up in Dennys is going crazy because Bob Saget just texted her.
jess passed out on the pong table. it was depressing until we started singing shania twain an hour later and heard her muffled voice singing along.
Your brother just informed me that half a mouthful is a unit of measurement. I love talking to members of your family.
When you're opening a bottle of tequila with a golf club, it's probably time to stop drinking...
i tried to knight her with my dick. she said it was unromantic. what an ungrateful attitude for a knight.
I feel like I got hit by a truck. Or a baby dinosaur. One of them ran over my body and then stuck me in a blender of fire and storm clouds
"It's not a date, we're just spending the entire day at a concert and then getting high together." Awesome.
You have found the Promised Land of friend zones
No I did not just post a Craigslist ad for a used stripper pole because I can't afford my own. But now that you put the idea in my head I might have to.
Are there any rules against fucking the hot TA?
Maybe for her....
Her problem, not mine
seriously the second he called my tits warlocks was the second I knew I wasn't going to fuck him.
He literally just patted me on the vagina and said goodnight to it.
He finger blasted me like an angel dude
I can't give advice right now, I have a yeast infection.
It's been a week I should not still be finding glitter in my pants.
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