Taking a 35 year old indonesian home, only in vegas ;-)
do you ever think like no deep thought could take place in the spanish language? like all they talk about is like tacos?
how high are you?
Just wanna let u know that we are almost on the pity blow job level of our friendship.
You stuck your entire fist into a full jar of peanut butter and starting assaulting people
I'm going to be fiscally responsible and buy a handle.
Who needs sounds of the ocean? I just fall asleep to whatever chubby he is banging next door.
Okay well we need to be adults. We're gonna end up with diabetes or some shit.
I'm having post-experience "why didn't I fuck her in a public bathroom" regrets
just shotgunning some tallboys in the cooler, you?
HOW DO YOU GET RAISES EVERY TWO WEEKS?!
Whatever. I just want to indulge in this mcchicken and forget all about his tiny penis.
I'm playing trivia and drinking margaritas so now is not a good time.
OH MY GOD did i pee on you?!
He's ready to settle down, whereas I'm like "More shots please"
I need a sign that says “please don’t make plans with me if I’ve had two or more drinks. I will regret them. I will have bitter feelings towards you. Then I will cancel and feel guilty.”
it will be a surprise...all I can say is stripper clown.
Randomize
