I couldn't deal, she's a vegetarian. Every woman should like a little meat in their mouths.
Never eat 3 McGriddles and drink a carton of milk. It's like you're successfully killing self but you're alive.
we should wear snuggies to the strip club
Stop staring at my boobs, I can't concentrate
Well how do you think I feel
fair enough
There's a difference between southern and inbred. She just doesn't know that yet.
we where pretty evenly matched until he threw me through that wall
We just leapfrogged all the way to the bar.
Please please please buy brown eye liner on your way home in the morning... I'm missing an eyebrow
If I can't get slightly excited by the thought of his face between my legs then I know I can never sleep with him.
Dude, you need to man up. You passed out before a PRESEASON game. It's a long season.
She dresses cool and she's mean. And she has fake boobs I feel like I can relate to her on so many levels.
I think it's awesome that you're getting shower sex advice from a Mormon.
I woke up in a tow truck cuddling plan b. Can you pick me up?
I thought adderall would sober me up, but it did NOT.
It's amazing
I want to run hundreds of miles and do a whole semesters worth of homework while flying on a unicorn and throwing endless glitter bombs
Randomize
