Circus confirmed... Jello shots before 9 pm are not cocktails for sucess
you need to do more things constructive for your career. like wearing pants more often.
dude last night I threw my weed into my back yard. there is now a foot of snow. after an hour I found my weed. if I put that effort into school, i'd have a 4.0.
She needs to learn she only fits into our friendship as a DD.
dont worry it didnt get any better. she locked herself in his room and was screaming at the top of her lungs "IM GUNA PEE ON YOUR BED"
I fell asleep with my vibrator still in me. I am the Queen of Sad Masturbation.
my car smells like vomit and bananas. this can't really be my life.
She tried to kill herself by taking a whole packet of panadol. I mean HELLO THAT'S ME EVERY SUNDAY MORNING.
should I tell them that both of them had sex with me last Saturday? it might be a relationship builder type of thing you know?
Trying to take a nap and my brain decides to play "lets have flashbacks every time you blew it with a chick in college". It's a montage of stupidity and youthful inexperience. I don't know whether to laugh or cry.
Hahahaha .. If it makes you feel better I had a sex dream about a cheeseburger last night so I feel like we both lose.
You were yelling at the mannequin and saying "DON'T LOOK AT ME"
He looks like an accountant with a secret kinky candy filled center.
EVEN AFTER ALL THAT COMPLAINING... STILL NO PENIS
He climbed on the counter and announced it was time for something called The Cocktacular and all the girls immediately left. He cockblocked the entire fraternity!
Randomize
