I guess what I'm trying to say is you've fucked more people than the economy.
i have to start hiding my credit card when i drink i woke up this morning with 4 emails from Farmville telling me i spent over $800 on coins last night
I just saw a Kleenex commercial and thought about last night. I'm sorry about your hair.
One of my friends found 6 bags of gummy bears on the roof. He lives a building over. Apparently even hammered you still have quite an arm
He had rug burn on his nose from my landing strip
Would the plural word for douche be deese? "Look at these deese bags"?
Are you high?
she wanted to watch hairspray while we fucked. she's obviously your kinda girl, dude.
Sorry I tried to blow your roommate in your room. I felt more at home there.
Because if not I was going to quote Ryan Lochte as punishment
Thank god I got my shit together
Today's weekday brunch started at 2pm, and consisted of $7 of sandwich and $50 of cocktails. Also, I hustled the bartender for about $3 playing nickel poker, but he may have been letting me win. Either way, he didn't get into my pants.
Is 36 too old to fuck a college student? THIS IS BOTH IMPORTANT AND TIME SENSITIVE
You've lost booty call privileges between the hours of 10pm and 8am.
COCAINE AND SUSPENSFUL BBC SHOWS DO NOT WORK.
Is it a bad thing when vodka doesn't taste like vodka anymore?
It was all like "my feathers evolved from scales of a reptile bitches!!" and I was all like "damn this chocolate milk is AWW SOOME!"
Randomize
