she looked like the bat from fern gully.
Just role played anchorman. And yes, I did take her to pleasure town.
20 yrs from now I just want to barge in her house and yell at her kids, "I took ur moms virginity!"
Also, did that cop draw hearts on everyone's hands last night?
Hhahaha he is. Omg the new polish friend just took his pants off in front of me. There is something wrong with this nationality.
The Vegas crew is in two groups, Team Vodka and Team Fireball. There is no winner in this.
who dressed up as a cop at your party???
idk I have to check. Why?
he gave me the best strip search of my life. FIND HIM.
I went in the closet and cried, then the bathroom and cried, and lastly he showed me his penis and I cried. It was a weird night.
I can't feel my tongue. And that means go. Green means go. And you know what Barney says. Green means go and woah means no. DRIIIIINKK
I apologize for being mean. I love the blender and your vagina.
woke up to a case of keystone on my porch when I went to bed at seven that morning.. I think it's someone's peace offering for getting my roommates car towed
I'm just that drunk tells people I love them or wants to set them on fire. Accept that.
He said he was Greek American and that is why my legs slammed shut. During the World Cup there are only Americans.
Got her pregnant in a minivan. Circle of life.
I always know im high when I can't remember how to pee.
Randomize
