I just put anything in between my legs and hope for the best.
I'm applying temporary tattoos with green beer, this is the life.
just got the results back. i love his dick even more now i know its clean
Hey, this is Travis. I just so intelligently deduced that I am in a college dorm somewhere in western oregon. Probably WOU, based on the process of elimination.
That awesome feeling when you are pooping on the same toilet that nobel laureates have pooped on
Omg, you would have loved the guy I almost hit with my car tonight
People were running around punching out the ceiling tiles Super Mario style.
People will call it the Wrath of the Froyo. We'll be immortalized.
My mom just offered to be my designated driver tonight. I love being an adult.
Woke up this morning with Nerf Bullets stuck to everything in my house and nut in my belly button. What exactly happened last night?
The batteries in my vibrator died before I could finish. Which is a lot like my sex life lately......
I would say don't do anything I wouldn't do, but we both know I forget about my personal safely when getting laid is on the line
The irony of the fact that I'm going to be starting my period on Thanksgiving. Something to truly be thankful for.
You know, you could always move. Lol somewhere without gators, water moccasins, and Marco Rubio.
Bro i just made a pipe out of a mechanical pencil and the top to an eye drop bottle. Does that make me some kind of pot god?
Randomize
