A joint and a Nerds Rope = breakfast of champions for the unemployed
Dude, the girl i fucked last night left wearing my high school musical shirt you bought me. she also left her panties here though.
The one with Zac Efrons face on it? You definitely got the short in of the stick. i'd rather have the shirt
fuck. yeah me too. i don't even think these panties would fit me
I just had a librarian tell me that "wikipedia is like sex"
When he expanded on the analogy it actually made sense. "you're going to do it either way, so I'm just going to tell you how to do it safely."
this cock blocking thing really has to end bro...its one thing to tell jen i live with my mom.. its another to cut the brakes on my car..
Dad, is it in any way illegal for me to run around throwing handfuls of lucky charms at people tomorrow?
you're kidding right?
dude, you were feeling up her boob for 20 minutes in front of the guy she was hitting on because you and her had an argument over who had bigger boobs.
hey man, it was for science okay.
You will never truly trust yourself until you have shaved your armpits, legs, and vagina in the dark.
I wanna just rip ass and see his reaction but i bet itd be better to shatter that illusion when hes drunk
Ask him to get me chedder bratwurst instead of the molly
Unless if you guys already left. Then I want the molly
Trying to roll joints on a seadoo in the middle of a lake on a windy night. -Juststonerthings
Because making bad decisions is what makes our house great and I don't plan on changing that anytime soon.
Momentum is force x velocity. So therefore velocity is 0 - hammered, and force is ur legs locked up and ur face hits the ground.
I felt paralized they just wouldnt move. We need segways when were drunk cuz if we start to fall forward they well take off and save the fall.
So... In conclusion, do I bring my vibrator and risk not only having it getting taken out at security, but also exposing my dad to my neon green vibrator, or just leave it here?
I truly wish I could say I pulled my groin straddling our cab driver but unfortunately I cannot
Dude, he came to our house with a beer can in his hand dressed up in a chicken suit screaming, "free eggs!" then threw up and passed out in the front yard.
Randomize