He played with my vagina like it was a turntable
it was frightening. in my opinion the only thing that should resemble a vagina is a vagina.
like the penis drawn on my face is so detailed and well done, i'm not even upset about it.
My sister got her picture in the pub crawl section of the paper today and my dad said to me "why can't you be more like her?"
i remember too much of last night for it to have been successful
Im eating these cheese filled pretzels. So good. Theres jizz dripping out places i didnt even know i had.
Everybody in the immediate area is hooking up like it's doomsday
WHY AM I NOT THERE?
There's someone howling in the parking lot. Haha.
My very favorite thing in the whole world is when guys try to booty call her as I'm fucking her. Sucks to suck.
Oh I know babe. You're shining beacon of adult responsibility. That's why I go down on you.
I go down on you because abs
She tried to sing jingle balls while blowing me
I'm a 23 year old adult who just ordered condoms online from Target because I'm still too embarrassed to buy them in the store.
Tempting guys with beer and cheese. How Midwestern are we?
Most people that see those numbers aren't going to realize what they mean and those that do will think 'oh those must be her favorite hockey players' and not 'oh she wants to see those hockey players fuck each other'.
Omfg I just White Claw shamed a Girl Scout Cookie mom and I feel SO BAD.
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