I cannot believe you needed a note to remind yourself to ask me about the fourteen sleeping Mexicans.
just woke up in the hotel with gummi bears all around me and someone took the tv
we took the tv and as for the gummi bears don't eat them you put em in her vagina
then out of nowhere we heard a voice yell "Fuck that pussy!"
I don't think I have but I might've died. If I have then come get me, I'm in the flower bed. And still game.
what kind of one night stand wants to walk you home in the morning? whole diff kind of walk of shame.
Steve called. He needs me to pick him up. He also asked for a set of his clothes, he can't find them. He is such a strong motivation to stay sober.
Let us bow our heads and pray that I don't throw up in the tub
In tonight's episode of Travis' Fucked up Sex Life, Travis breaks into a building at Tulane to have sex with an attractive Asian man.
I was out of breath when we were getting started and he offered me his inhaler so he's a keeper
You've changed since you got that strap on
Scientific fact: if he makes a face like a demonic dog when he's fucking you, makes it easier to fuck without feelings.
You have to just make a conscious effort not to make out with people when he's around if you want to keep him in your life?
She shaved her vagina in my bed. Good night
Remember when we thought adulthood would be different than college?
It is different. We had hopes and dreams back then. Now we're just alcoholics.
don't think less of me for this, but i'm pretty sure he did a line off my boob last night.
Randomize
