dude your cousin who was wearing the skirt wasn't wearing any underwear
gross she's a slut
yea she doesn't shave either
dude why did you let me call her?!
i told you it was a bad idea and to quote you exactly, you said "no, it's a good idea..that's what people do when they love each other." you met her 15 minutes prior to that conversation...
Have you ever had one of those moments when you kept whispering to yourself "I'm not a slut, I'm not a slut..."?
Yeah you insisted everyone watch Space Jam at 2 in the morning then you cried the whole way through it. You were the very worst kind of drunk.
yep you were here saturday. if you woke up smelling like vanilla i can explain.
How am I so hungover that wearing sunglasses hurts my head?
This is going to be the time I got green body paint on Chris' ceiling all over again...
Someone brought brownies to work and I was skeptical to eat one then I remembered I was at work and there is no way there is weed in them. Haha I'm blaming you for that.
Stumbled across a pregnancy test in my closet. Oh, the freshman year flashbacks..
I've got your keys and your panties. You can have one back. Your play honeybuns.
I asked you for a cigarette and you handed me your phone and told me to search for one
quickly learned not to sleep with your roommate and work colleague in the same week
well my apartment and my life are still a disaster but I did clean off my desk so that's gotta count for something...
Throwing up while listening to NPR because I’m trying to adult through this hangover
This morning we had sex while he was wearing a full length fur jacket and sunglasses... I wasn't even phased
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