Totally saw a hot amputee. I think this is called character growth.
it was like his penis was on wheels.
Yeah, my mom walked in on us. Instead of yelling, she went and hid in the bathroom til we finished. It was pretty classy.
Do you think it would be a good idea to mention in my admissions essay that I was the guy that streaked across the soccer field last year?
Fuck winter. I had to scrape my windshield, shoeless, after the walk of shame so I could go home.
Half my make-up was stuck to his thigh where I'd fallen asleep after the blowjob.
she laid there and continued moaning loudly for like 10 minutes after we were done, just so that her mom would be jealous
I had some like war flashbacks of giving someone a handjob and i was trying to figure out who it was.
Considering the last guy I had sex with was gay, this was a huge improvement.
Sex last night was mind blowing. your wife is one lucky lady.
Mom chose Thanksgiving to tell me the reason I am here is because she was too tired to give my dad a BJ and too drunk to make him pull out.
watched my neighbor eat five yodels, mow his lawn, and then cry on his porch after the party... what did you give him?
and then I drunkenly screamed, "you can ride that Uber all the way to revenge city!"
which was funny until I realized I paid for my enemy's cab to go fuck my ex
I need a drink. No, several. I need several drinks. Drunk, I need to be drunk. Definitely need to be drunk
Alas, I cannot find a male suitor sharing my affinity for sport culture who will both manhandle me and treat me with the respect a young Hillary supporter wants and deserves
Randomize
