Any of you guys fuck a 16 year old again? Because our front yard got fucked over high school style.
He lets me throw up in him even if i do it mistakeily- erica talking about the toilet
My low point of the night was when my roommate spit out her jello shot and i took it...
I am no longer a man. I just realized I prefer Spongebob to college football.
I was looking at some smoking pipes on amazon the other day and realized that work people could look at my history and do a drug test. So I immediately started looking at Sherlock Holmes hats.
Is it creepy to message a girl and say you had me at stocked liquor cabinet?
I wish that one Sunday morning I could wake up feeling like I have my life together.
On my list on ridiculous morning after bus rides home, still sopping wet and carrying a giant straw hat is definitely top five
i also performed surgery on a chicken burrito from what i can tell from my scissors
Because guys aren't supposed to cry. Especially when it's over a dude singing a Christmas carol.
I lost my bra at his grandma's house so there's that.
I don't even care that it's before church. I feel like God actually wants me to have this shower beer.
He was trying to break into my apartment to get the coke he left last night, didn't engage parking break, so the van started rolling. yup, it's broken.
I would accept a super bowl ring as an engagement ring
He put on star wars porn, i thought it was hilarious last night but now i'm wondering why he has star wars porn
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