So how gross is it that Woopie Goldberg has a vagina? She's like the exact opposite of a boner....
She made Precious look like a solid 6.5.
So high. I just took a picture of my chewed gum so I can remember to paint a picture of it as a cloud later.
Could someone please kill snooki before she contributes to the gene pool.
My night sucks. It's really hard to masturbate with a broken finger.
Trust me. My penis has made more than enough decisions this weekend.
My phone now knows what I type and it prompts me with frequently used words. And anytime I use "and" and hit the space key two of the words are "unicorn" and "sausage"
Lets start a coed nudist frat/sorority. It would be amazing. Or just an orgy club. It would also be amazing
god it feels good to gold a bottle of opiates again.
I think that typo was actually more appropriate than what you intended.
Pizza rolls are incredible. They are like sex, except I have them sometimes
So you're on like a list there now..."Do not under any circumstances give this person a knife. Serve them in plastic cups ONLY"
I feel like you're gonna be reading this at 6 AM in a ditch or under a bridge, but please remember...I offered to drive you home. And you said no.
The sad thing is that it's 6:45 and you're not far off.
Ugh, once again I had to block the view of him peeing off the hotel bar balcony, I earned those free drinks!
Best neighbors ever! They found the guy ive been wanting as a booty call and got me invited to the party the guy was at and gave me alcohol so i could be tipsy when met him. im never moving.
In this house, we have but one simple rule: DONT FUCKIN TOUCH MY STUFF OR I'LL CUT YOUR NECK IN UR SLEEP
Randomize
