Ok pretty sure I just saw Mike O'Malley walking through the parking lot. I wanted to see if I followed him, would he lead me to the acro-criag, i've always wanted a crack at that bitch.
i walked into his room and he was eskimo kissing his weed..
He has to watch his girlfriends kitten. Even when she is in Vegas, her pussy keeps him from getting into mine.
Dude. Remember the only two rules I set for that? Always have a sober friend and don't do drugs with a fat chick.
I said I usually like going out for coffee before torturing someone's genitals. He said he understood.
i looked at my phone & had a message that said "tell your friend she needs to clean my livingroom, i dont appreciate her trying to turn it into a bubblebath." I give you probs.
I'm out of mixers so I am using sugar water. Times are tough.
We ended not having sex. I didn't want to explain that I was wearing a Unitard because all my socks and underwear were dirty.
MAYDAY. glass in foot, have crush on guy with mullet.life is over.
Things in my bed this morning: a Waffle House hat, a finding nemo DVD, sharpies, my graduation robes and an adult diaper. Did we play drunk scavenger hunt again?
If this nail lady pinches my achilles one more time im kicking her directly in her bedazzled boobs
Yeah man, you were grinding with his wife, I wouldn't be worried about it
Personally, I'm gonna be Sexy Dobby the House Elf.
You need to get out of there before he falls in love with you.
He made me cum 3 times, then immediately after sex packed a bowl and passed it to me. Yeah.. I'll keep him.
Randomize