Did we have sex last night or did we just wake up naked covered in oil?
Checked out the free sonogram van on campus and got a free DVD of my sweet food baby.
I just sat through a State Farm mortgage Insurance commercial to watch a Trick Daddy video. Is this the target audience they are going for here?
I know I should be focused on nurturing their bright little minds but it's 10 a.m. and I need a cock in my mouth
I figured out why I insisted on leaving my sweater on the ground outside. I smelled it and I'm 97% sure I peed on it last night
Do you know what's great about Canada?..... There will always be a Tim Hortons on my walk of shame route
Everybody in the immediate area is hooking up like it's doomsday
WHY AM I NOT THERE?
Two words that describe last night: naked and backflips.
I don't understand why your family and sex lives should EVER overlap.
No, it wasn't really a sexy 'I'm going to go masturbate.' It was an 'I'm going to go masturbate' that implied I was going to drink a tall boy of Mikes and cry while I looked at lesbian porn.
Officially conquered sex on my couch with my dad asleep in the next room
I like how you say "conquered" as if that was your sole mission in life
sex, shower, sex, ice cream sandwiches?
On a scale from 1-10 how wrong is it to request "I Hit It First" at my ex's wedding reception?
Definite 12.2 but worth it.
its 2pm and were already starting beer pong...its gonna be a good night
we found her. shes in the bathtub full of raw pasta. i dont even know...
Randomize
