This is a mass text. Does anyone know where I am?
We were hooking up, both of us naked. She starts putting her clothes back on and says, "I have to go to the bathroom." I reply, "No you don't, you're leaving." Without hesitation she looks at me and says, "Yeah."
I like when I have the chance to say normal things like 'I know her from college' vs 'I did a ton of blow with her one night at Studio B.'
Who faxed a picture of their penis to the office printer?!
he said verbatim, he wants to "bang you hard".
We are a team. I lure them in with my tits, feed them enough alcohol to consider homosexuality, and hand them off to you.
You're the best wingman ever.
You sent me a picture of you holding a goat then asked me if I would have day sex
i woke up with a kayak in my amazon shopping cart with 1 wrong digit on my credit card and the transaction wasn't going through.
It's no shave November. This is our time.
Smoked a joint with mom, best Thanksgiving ever!
Everything isn’t always sunshine & rainbows. Sometimes there’s tequila.
I watched a compilation video today of a guy banging his sex doll to edm music. I just had to tell someone.
I'm in the recliner and i have a bottle of wine wedged in my cleavage, drinking from a straw. Clever and classy or pathetic and sloppy?
I just watched a magician wearing a fedora deep throat a balloon\n
FINE I guess I'll just drink regular coke like a PLEBIAN.
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