the chick doesn't look like she's put anything in her mouth for weeks other than his dick.
true best friends attempt to put quarters in each others butts. Thanks for the best birthday ever!
its summer. and we all know college gfs do not count in summer.
college gfs dont count ever. theyre like getting corn rows in jamaica. you feel cool at the time. then you go home and people make fun of you.
Turns out you're obligated under man law to share any passwords you may have for porno sites
Is that what they're teaching u at that bar review class?
he was walking around the bar drinking wild turkey and gobbling simultaneously
Can we comment on the fact that at five thirty this morning, security woke me up in the hotel lobby, in my underwear, and some random guys winter coat?
I am dressing up to go buy weed. I need to get out more.
Dude, she literally stopped, mid fuck said "I want soup" got off my dick and make top ramen.
He woke up licked his hand and put it on my vag and went back to sleep. This is twice this week and its only wednesday
I don't know ur idea of a good first date but I'm pretty sure it shouldn't include him holding my hair while I puke in the street
She busted her face in a tragic twerking accident. Marking the 2nd time I have peed my pants laughing.
Dude fuck drugs. It's 4am and I'm eating mushroom ravioli fantasizing about jumping on a trampoline
We got really high and he took a green marker and made my vagina into a Christmas tree.
people need to understand when I say I don't want to drink anymore that doesn't mean tempt me with another bottle of Jose Cuervo.
You aaa... you ever forget to wipe your ass?
Randomize
