How am I a tease?
Dude you flashed me ur vagina and walked away.
ONLY PART OF IT.
So apparently when I was 2, I went around drinking everybody's beer at some wedding, then passed out in a corner....
This explains a lot.
its my first week of college and i have a UTI
not easy being a whore now is it
She just tagged pictures of you wrapped in the "above the influence banner" like a toga.
Some guy seriously just got Jimmy Johns delivered to him at the graduation ceremony. This cannot be real life.
We found a swing set....it's in the front yard.
It's home.......I'm going to the store in disguise to get skittles and cake frosting. Then I'll eat the frosting in a dark corner while I cry and wonder what I did to deserve this.
I'be color coordinated the clothes in my closet and my underwear drawer. I'm like an advertisement for house arrest. Help.
Try not to get arrested for it, but otherwise i support you
He's CUTE. and foreign
She just causally held my limp dick in her hand the entire movie. Her parents were cuddling on the couch too..that brave!
Also I think I realized when my life started to turn into shambles.. The day I took my high school senior picture WITH A HICKEY ON MY NECK
This guy on the tube is sooooooo high. Eyes are bloodshot and he's licking his headphone cords.
Is there a polite/non-lush way to ask how alcohol ranks on their list of priorities? Because like idk how to break the ice furreal.
I can't adult today.
Take a nap and try again
I have to buy a couch. There's nothing more adult than buying a couch on a Tuesday.
THERE ARE NO EMOJIS TO SHOW MY SEXUAL FRUSTRATION
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