ashley and jimmy are about to have sex on degrassi.... EVERYONES GETTING LAID BUT ME
Dude also, my grandma got me condoms for easter and kind of winked. I don't know what to think
you know by doing this we are using dad as a drug mule right?
I'm sober in pajamas at a bar. Nothing is ok about that statement.
Make puking fun. Chug half a monster right before you blow. Throw up foam. Most unique experience ever.
I succsesfully kept my nipples in my dress all night. Even when I got in a fight. I was made for the bar.
i'm laying here naked in a pile of empty landshark bottles, is lauren still hiding under the toilet?
your body is your temple. do you really want a bunch of dicks in your temple?
He rubbed aloe on my sunburn while I blew him... could he be anymore perfect?
I'm suffering a hangover from deep within. I feel like the half of the parts of my body are permanently laced with alcoholic substances
Did we seriously steal a wet floor sign from McDonald's then get chased down by a homeless man for it? Never drinking again.
I put on pants and a bra for you and you never showed up. There is no forgiveness for that.
Please tell me you did not shit your Disney princess costume.
Just found a rebirth in peppermint schnapps. May be able to stay up all night and finish this paper after all. MERRY CHRISTMAS
I’ve gone two rounds already this morning and I’m ready for a third. The moon is in the house of sluticus hornius.
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