let me know it goes. try not to get bit. and if you can, get someone to videotape it.
just peed on my foot to get a spider off. that lazy.
Let's just cut to the chase. I'm not interested in anything romantic but I aAM interested in Tom Petty and maybe getting high and fucking you again for old times sake.
Great. My funeral dress now smells of smoke and disappointing sex.
Why would you fall asleep? This is why i cant drink with my lesbian friends anymore. They take my clothes off and get vodka in my top ramen. Only yoouuu can prevent forest fires.
why is there a fishing net hanging from my ceiling fan?
And now for everyone's least favorite sport... Drunk babysitting.
You peed in my kitchen, while crying and insisting my floor was a toilet.
He was telling me about how he's leaving on his Mission next week... While we were having sex in the back of his car.
She asked me if I would fuck her with my storm trooper mask on
summer in europe = liver of steel
I accept that challenge.
Well. I think my red tank top is jinxed. this is now the second time it's gotten jizz on it.
We just fucked in the park on a bench and a guy with a dog walked past us and the dog walked right up to us while the guy stared at his phone.
Matt is trying to convince me that we have a deal where if I show him my tits he won't do cocaine. Apparently we shook hands on it?
I just had mom give me advice about how and where to store my lube in my shower. It was super awkward. Of course, she also walked in on me masturbating once so I guess turnabout is fair play
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