mmm whisky
reminds me of losing my job
Would you want me to push you down the stairs OR throw you a baby shower?? Real talk
Just a heads up: The party is Fourth of July themed. Spread the word
dude its may
Work with me here, man.
he turned the pretty ricky playlist on. its about to go down.
Blood drive hookups: you will probably faint during the sex, but at least you know neither of you has AIDS
I'm eating mac and cheese for dinner that way when I puke later it'll be festive halloween orange.
All I want to do is fuck in the bell tower before it leave this school. Is that too much to ask?
I smell like icyhot and vodka... Heres to my pulled tendon.
I should not be so motivated by a penis, but I am
I don't know what happened. His phone, shirt, shoes, and the condom wrapper are here but he isn't. I don't even know how to get a hold of him right now
I didn't know White Castle was open when your sober.
Yeah we fucked. I ran into her the next day, I had to pick up the girl scout cookies I ordered from her boyfriends kids.
I'm sorry I called your mother a reasonably-priced receptacle.
for once I'd like a one night stand where I don't meet the guys mom or wife in the morning
If youre worried about being stabbed, you probably shouldnt be there.
Randomize
