i realized boys travel in groups of 3's and girls travel in 4's..thats why it gets so tricky
like hot dogs and buns.
so i don't know how many beers it takes to make a recliner look like a toilet, but that's how many i had.
there seems to be a considerable amount of hair missing from my left hand. i may have lit it on fire again
At 2pm we are having a MANDITORY house meeting about last night. ALL must be in attendance!
I'd like to review the planning and execution of the party to determine how we hosted a naked party, to determine how we can have more.
Any man who can do squats while fucking you is a man worth keeping.
She was just trying to do dick voodoo. Pretty standard stuff.
Scientific fact: if he makes a face like a demonic dog when he's fucking you, makes it easier to fuck without feelings.
dude you know how i got totally hammered and lost my phone at some frat when i came to visit you two months ago? yeah well someone mailed it back to me in minnesota.. with a picture of a cock as the screen savor
Also, we can't be seen together looking suspicious or sexually satisfied
That’s true love. If they recognize a chocolate mold of your anus.
You could cut the tension with my nipples.
You were out of control then you fell asleep on his lap for 30 min and woke up civil. Way to powernap to sobriety!
I'm not sure of this happened or if it was just a dream... But I vividly remember you walking down the street naked?
No actually I had socks on...
You were so drunk, you kept telling everyone you had a platinum vagina.
I wish I got tanner on friday but I feel like I spent most of my time puking in the bathroom. I love my life
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