I'm watching a show called "I didn't know I was pregnant" on TLC...Apparently this happens enough that there is a series
theres bread in your mailbox im going to eat it
nevermind its newpaper
If you made a robot out of pillows would he be nice? It's hard to imagine a mean pillow robot. And who came up with the idea of shaving their legs?
I'm taking last night back. It officially didn't happen. Tell your friends.
ill give you a picture of me naked for $5. im desperate.
i wasn't about to bring her gummy handcuffs to her father's funeral
this cock blocking thing really has to end bro...its one thing to tell jen i live with my mom.. its another to cut the brakes on my car..
You gotta hand it to him. 6 hours in a new town and he's already fuck someone, had his ass kick by her bf, and rounded up a posse of people to kick this guys ass.
It seems that only way I've actually improved myself after 2 years of writing for the school newspaper is that I've mastered the art of descriptive words to improve my sexting skills
He crawled outside into the bushes to throw up. He's just laying there now but he says he'll be ready to come home if we just give him five
Just let me take your liver out and beat it with a meat tenderizer for you..
she sent me a picture of dilf asleep in bed with the caption "what happened last night?"
I seriously doubt this is the first time pumpkin pie has led to a booty call.
I'm sending him pics of me in my new lingerie telling him to come over and when he gets here I'll have changed into like sweats and a 5 year old shirt with ketchup stains on it
I can't wait to shower all this regret off of me
Randomize
