At least we don't have one night stands
True that. We sink our claws in our men.
dude your girlfriend loves you alot..she yelled your name lastnight in bed
Some bum walked up and watched me getting head last night for like 5 mins before I noticed him
I love my penis, it thinks for me sometimes
do you guys have 30-35 shot glasses? because if not, i don't even see a point in me coming
Just so we're clear, that's a yes to the honey, but if you get marshmallow fluff anywhere near my body we are never doing this again
I experienced pure joy just moments ago when I looked down and saw that I had another pop tart to consume down my mouth hole.
They ran out of ice at the party, so I fixed my drink with frozen broccoli....the show must go on!
I don't think you should be sorry for such memorable sex that I yell your name when you aren't around.
The band last night was really good
That was definitely karaoke. Guess that answers my follow up question on how drunk you were.
I think the best part was the fact that the stripper's lock screen was a picture of the virgin mary
Dude she tried to bite my face off last night, literally. I have never actually felt like a piece of meat until that point in life...
He just said Bill Nye is just a dude. If I ever considered sleeping with him, I never will now.
Everyone got an underage but her
How'd she get out of it?!
She hid in the FUCKING DRYER
Everybody at Lexi's party found out I'm both a screamer and a moaner after he ate me out on the pool table downstairs. Just another sunday night in Alaska
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