She had hickeys... what's up with that?? HAHAHA
OH MY GOD! I just remembered how we ended our bar time last night: picking up and drinking random drinks that ppl had left. wtf is wrong with us?! that's so ghetto!
No. You're kidding.
I am not. I wish I were. I speak the truth.
This girl is more easily done than said...
We even fucked WHILE he was making me breakfast in bed.
I just put on my hot pinky lace thong... you know what that means! ;)
Oh god. Slutty you is on the run. Someone needs to alert the city.
About to fuck some random fraternity guy I met at a party. I guess this would be the right time to say I don't want to be with you anymore.
Might as well permanently tattoo lush somewhere on my body and show it to people when I decide to drink so they won't serve me.
So he drunk messaged me last night telling me he wants a baby. Think I should call his bluff?
You're like Jane Goodall in a forest of gay men. Someday your autobiography will be called "Bottoms in the Mist".
I feel like I missed the land of milk and honey and instead wound up in the land of beer and pizza. And yet, I think I'm happier here.
I'm going to get high and eat ice cream until the pain goes away. You're welcome to join.
well, unfortunately the rug burn lasted longer than the actual relationship
I like the new guy, he keeps beer in the fridge.
Try to fuck my roomie AND steal my slippers: you are no longer my favorite cousin.
I admire the fact that you replicated my apartment on the roof but I would appreciate it more if you would move all my stuff off the roof and back into my apartment.
Randomize
