Why does lindsey know I was naked in the kitchen?
I'm getting drunk watching the disney channel. Is this a main reason why we aren't together anymore?
Party priorities: alcohol > girls > music > cups > decorations
I already brushed my teeth, and it's not even noon yet. Today's going to be a productive day.
I didnt realize we were having a competition in poor decision making skills
how else could I explain the last few years
The party theme was heirs and heiress's. Most guys came in polo shirts but he came as the "arch duke of vagina".
The stripper on stage Is eating a mozzarella stick while on the pole....that's a new level of I don't give a fuck
She wasn't to happy when she went to put her shirt on and it was covered in cum I just looked at her and said collateral damage....
I didn't scare your mother by showing up on the roof, did I?
Sorry for rubbing my feet on you and repeating "good pony, stay."
Hey do you have any hot friends that would settle for less?
And then I cried about the Cubs for a half hour. If my dignity hadn't already been lost by that point in the night, it sure as hell was then.
Sexting across continents is really a perfect example of how far technology has come.
Sometimes I look at her and just start choking. She is that much of an evil entity.
my alarm on my phone broke at the bar sooo i had to sleep with someone so i'd wake up on time for work.
Randomize
