You just took 4 shots. 2 of them were maple syrup.
I don't really want to write this paper. It's the last one of the semester - I need to savor the feeling of procrastination.
what is the aproppriate waiting time between having sex and playing super Mario brothers
6 min
I understand why you refuse to be sober now
He told me his mother taught him that move. What the hell do I say to that?
she added emergen-c to the bong-water bro, brilliant.
I probably looked like a mental patient. I had my IV in one hand and cup of pee in the other, swaying around with a dazed grin on my face. I love vicodin.
When the shrooms kicked in we both simultaneously realized we were not the right puzzle piece for the dubstep puzzle.
We made eye contact and were like we are not welcome here, the ravers are onto us and we need to get the fuck out before we get shuffled upon
Sorry, I am not your wing girl tonight,. in my pjs, eating cereal from the box. Hell I only shaved the inside of my legs just so they wouldn't itch. Not happening.
I came back to consciousness and found myself sitting in a beanbag chair petting a 2 month old husky with one hand and eating an oreo Klondike bar with the other. This almost makes me forgive blackout lisa for making out with that chubbs at the xmas party
literally just blacked in. Im watching what to expect when your expecting, eating pretzels and peanut butter, and I have someone's underwear around my neck.
then a garbage truck rolls up to the club, they hop out, and walk right in like they own the place
One of my pillows is missing but it's cool because there is a beef stick.
I DIDN'T WATCH THE PILLSBURY DOUGH BOY PORN!!!!
Sorry. I was preoccupied thinking about penises
Randomize
