Rocking a Headband at the strip club, because of Rock of Love this shit is like their kryptonite, I smell like stripper butter and back child support.
I wish Morgan Freeman narrated my life.
you know when i was in school the girls definitely did not have the tits the 15 year olds have now. so unfair.
if all i could do was poop and smoke weed, i'd be eternally happy
amen to that sister
If we went to a costume party as Batman and Robin I would go as Robin, that's how much you mean to me
Dude I think I was making out with the cat last night
I don't have a cat..?
Well nonetheless. Whatever it was purred when I used tounge.
Hooking up with him would mean my type has officially become... drug dealer.
She went dumpster diving. Found flourescent light bulbs, carpet samples and $15. We got a bottle of Popov, played star wars and threatened random people with the carpet. Get on our level.
I AM OVERLY HIGH AND OVERLY AWARE OF MY TONGUE IN MY MOUTH
He just subscribed to one of my Spotify playlists. The next step is sex.
I just want to be able to run around naked and eat grass with no judgments and have people feed me and expect me to sleep all the time.
I'm so fucking horny right now If I blink I might cum
I'm slowly starting to accept that you have to be a sociopath to be attracted to me
I'm not the kind of girl that sleeps with someone else's boyfriend. But I'm getting waxed just in case I change my mind...
Did I ever tell you what happened that night after he ran you over?
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