i walked into the party and i guess everyone knew because they began to chant "ass to mouth"
he keeps his weed in a birkenstock shoe box. its like, we get it, youre from oregon.
don't leave me alone with all the disney princess sluts
He introduced me to his parents as the girl he made out with on Thursday night...
noo you weren't that drunk. you just knocked the grill over and couldn't get the key in the door, so you climbed through the window. success.
$150 bar tab covered by these tits. That's now the going rate. Keeping my bra on during sex unless i see the Benjamins.
He wouldn't give me a cup of water for my bong so i sat in the drive thru to run up the timer until he gave it to me.
I dont care how drunk you were. Making a bet with MY husband at MY wedding that you could seal the deal before he could is ALWAYS inappropriate!
hey dude, just got with the girl in H4. so mark H off the apartment list
haha we are half through our lease and already checked off 17 letters
Sweet. Well pat yourself on the back this penis just burst back into the the game and the vaginas of millions
I just want to like fall into a pit of hot wings beside a keg of yingling and eat my way to freedom
Omg I literally just wanna sleep with you right now. Like actual sleep. Not sex. Well maybe. But sleep first
You had sex with him AND his man bun. Like not just him but also the bun.
Worst way to find out I have a half sister
Maybe you should slow down tonight...
KINGS DON'T NEED ADVICE FROM LITTLE HORN-BILLS FOR A START
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