clay aiken is like melissa ehteridge without the guitar.
This may sound mean but have u ever just sat in class and look at some of the the people and think how disappointed their parents must be
My room should be renamed "Land of the Misfit Condoms."
Sorry no. I've already promised my first single hookup to somebody.
Do ex girlfriends even count for summer sexcapades. Seems like the damage had already been done
Victory lap
...then she kept trying to make balloon animals with my flacid penis. I'm never drinking whisky with you again.
I told my grandmother all I want is a nice guy who likes to be tied up.
Just broke my no shot rule again.. Made out with a stranger. That's 0 for 3 this month for the record
He said you asked to eat pepperoni off his dick and he thought it was weird
I mean I thought it sounded fun
I found where he bartends and I guarantee you that in approximately nine months from this Friday, you will have a niece
But, if I start dating you brother, I can't talk to you about the sex anymore!! Like... Can we talk about it anonymously?! I just won't use his name.
He gave me my financial savings if I invested with him while I was giving him a bj.
Oh, btw, UPS might come by. Drunk me ordered us $75 worth of gummy airhead starburst type candies. Whatever it is, it'll be delicious.
No reason. My tongue went numb after one shot. I may die tonight
Pretty sure I just pissed straight whiskey...
Randomize
