I just wanted to draw pictures of limp wieners on peoples doors and smash pictures of palm trees. That's it.
my mom just told me how she used to love having sex while stoned. wtf.
I hope he doesn't find the chex mix when he takes my shirt off.
its official. the only way for my hair to look good is to blow somebody
In a weird way, I don't want to stalk him on Facebook. I want to find out what's wrong with him the old-fashioned way. Is this what it means to be romantic?
She's trying to put on her dog muzzle on her self
You should kill a bro for me and drag his carcass home so I can study him.
I vote for a trading skills night. You teach me to juggle, I'll teach you knife fighting, and we'll both learn banjo
Guess whose hungry like a hippo: this bitch.
he said he was going grocery shopping but when he came back all he had was a jumbo bag of pancake mix and case of beer.
the essentials, lol
I think my nap took me to another dimension
lets start a news segment called WHY IS LEOS CROTCH BURNING TODAY
Vodka, rum, moonshine, I don't care, just bring like 5gallons.
I had to give myself a suppository. That was the LEAST fun I've had inserting things in my ass.
I was like ahh were on two different pages, I know there's rumors of me moving to boston but I can't and I'm not adding long distance to the relationship I have with my 31 year old recently divorced ex boss
Randomize
