i really wish facebook had an app for when you are looking at a chick's photo album, you could just skip to the ones where she and/or her friends are dressed like skanks
Got a basket, 50 condoms, some candy, 100 plastic eggs & my bunny costume. Campus will feel my wrath in 2 weeks
Apparently I climbed into a dryer last night and refused to leave... There are pictures to prove it
did anyone else see me puking into my coat sleeve?
Apparently I also called my credit card company to demand a credit limit increase. I'm so content with not drinking another 60 days
Im going to hell in a hand basket. With a ribbon tied to my head. I'll be like a puppy for the devil.
They're not that bad of drunks, they come back to the vehicle with more stuff than they went in with, so its a profitable venture.
Cop came to our door looking for you. Something about sex in public and intoxication. I said you matched the description.
Do I really need this much space in my mouth?
Are you already high?
I can't stop drooling did you spike my drink?
The only people in the library at 5:00 on the friday after finals are homeless or pre-med.
A big thanks to that bride-to-be, Her fiance and his loaded friends will forever hold a place in my heart for the generous tequila body shots on the couch at Henry's.
Plus he stuck it in when you were sleeping which would have been the tipping point for me but you art school kids are all liberal and shit
He's like... An octopus that touches my vagina in all these diff ways at the right times. It's almost unsettling
I literally forgot every French word I knew and blurted out “mange moi” so he went down on me like I was some baguette fresh outta the oven!!!! I passed out.
Randomize
