your brother just told me that Guinness is the first book of the Bible...
She laid down on my bed and played "I want you to want me" on my laptop. subtle.
SLUTTIEST. 4TH. EVER.
Two bottles of champagne and half a pizza later, I'm crying myself to tears watching The Nanny. Happy finals week.
I'm hoping that banging a 24 year old 3 times cancels out banging that freshman on Wednesday
there's a barbecue in the shower. I'd like to know who got this to fit inside perfectly. impressive
If I EVER think it's a good idea to blow someone who just showed me their synchronized swimming performance on youtube again please correct me immediately.
Doing the walk of shame at 1 AM. Stumbled across a rave. This night is epic.
dude there's a blind guy on the trail using his service dog to hit on girls.
Happy Halloween!! Last Halloween we spent together you got brought home in a shopping cart
I just used my citation as a bookmark. Want a beer?
He used a trumpet as a funnel, said something about valve oil, and puked all over the garage.
I got her number but I don't think I'll be able to smash, I was pretending to be British AND I forgot her name
Sorry about the confusion with the nudes last night that was rude
I just got out of the shower and I feel like I just washed off 10 lbs of bad decisions...
Randomize
