this girl ate taco bell on my bed naked last night, it was the sexiest thing ive ever seen
last time I sleep in the lobby. woke up to some girl asking me what floor I lived on. somebody put me, couch included, on the elevator.
bailing my boss out of jail is a great way to spend memorial day
We were just talking bout putting on helmets and going fo a car ride just to see how ppl react. I will def fit in here haha
I can't decide if the sex was so good I couldn't move, or if it was me being loaded on all the morphine that they shot me up with at the ER.
Would it be tacky of me to tell the two girls I just found out he's been sleeping with on the side that I've been having gay sex with him all semester?
So Monday we're lesbians.
Deal. This decision is final and any rebates on this will result in losing an eyeball.
he wouldn't lick chocolate syrup off of me because he's vegan. most awkward shower ever.
I have got to stop letting people hang ornaments from my nipple ring.
Tis the season.
It was all fun and games until she said "you're so pretty I wanna punch you in the face" and the proceeded to punch her in the face
you asked the cab driver if he wanted to meet your parents, last night.
I'm really just disappointed in myself for having sex with a musical theater major
I had to give myself a suppository. That was the LEAST fun I've had inserting things in my ass.
Haha we both slept with guys named Brad born on may 1st. This is a proud day for sisters.
I’m going to give his broken heart CPR with my vagina
Randomize
