Your an asshole
Actually, it's "you're an asshole"
My point exactly
i saw like six of her guido cousins in the jersey shore trailer alone. her family is having a dinner party for the premiere tonight.
the cop then proceeds to point out the "proud parent of a dare graduate" bumper sticker and say well i guess it's time to take that off
smoking a bowl while I'm peeing. i love having a big dick.
The doctor said 'youre the 2nd youngest person that ive seen with this condition. Thats probably not the silver medal you were looking for today.'
I mean, once you help another girl drunker than you zip her jeans you can't help but be friends after that
That's what you get for drunk dialing me to ask what kind of flowers I like while outside of a strip club, after telling me you "made it rain"
You know you're at a low point when you're sucking vodka out if your hair.
There were grown college boys running around north campus in capes with nerf guns. If security were to be called I think they would just give them more beer.
This snow needs to melt so I can get wasted on someones front lawn
Our sibling relationship has really blossomed into a wonderful mutual acceptance of sluttyness
As if I wouldn't steal Nintendo brand "Mario is my HOMEBOY!" boxers when he gave me the entire drawer to choose from.
You blacked out at 9:30 and insisted on sleeping in the hallway after you chugged an entire pitcher of beer. I guess the Jell-O shots were stronger than we thought...
He better be a good lay, these underwear cost $50.
You seem like the type to go to a craft sale baked out of your mind. I like you.
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