I cheated on you last night. I slept with my laptop.
Haym$ered
turn off your phone and go to bed
She actually said during sex "the only thing that would make this more perfect is if we were listening to Lenny Kravitz"
So, obviously, you had to give a fake number this morning.
Yes. Also, we may never be able to go back to that bar again.
The drink u got me is pineapple something w. Cigarete ashes in it.ima drink it anyway
is it just me, or are high schoolers getting sexier?
We talked him into tasing himself.
i just feel like the statute of limitations for admitting i plowed through her car last night was up a couple hours ago
You stole my camera, took a picture of yourself and said "that's beautiful, just as beautiful as our waitress".
Day #3 of being the only sober person at the bar. This is depression.
Why are you surprised? I've only ever liked older guys since I was a 3 yr old crushing on her pediatrician.
Saying someone's good at giving head is like saying someone is good at pouring juice like there is that one girl who will spill it everywhere but for the most part it's not that hard to be good at
I just want to make out with him forever
I think I've done enough damage with my vagina as of late, thank you
Wanna get drunk and play candy land? If so you are 2 steps behind.
TJ is going to paint me in a Patriots Jersey he can paint you in an eagle jersey. Did this last year and got so much dick.
Randomize
