Needless to say, wine tasting turned into wine chugging
She was so bad on top that i found myself watching a TV that wasn't even turned on
how many princess gummy vitamins will it take to negate last nights drinking binge?
Just wanted to make sure that my favorite hot mess is still alive. I dont need words, just a response of any sort. K hope youre living
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This is sufficient.
Look dude I'm sorry I used your bong to snorkel in my bathtub last night
WHY DID I INFORM THE ENTIRE BATHROOM I DONT HAVE AN STD?!?!?!!
What!? It's 7:30am on gameday. This keg is not going to drink itself.
I've seen you dance and let's just say its a good thing you don't have a small dick
I think my nap took me to another dimension
Sorry I punched you in the throat. You got in my way. You understand.
Did you know that pizza hut has a wedding proposal box? And sorry for being kinda drunk yesterday when you got here
Maybe you should slow down tonight...
KINGS DON'T NEED ADVICE FROM LITTLE HORN-BILLS FOR A START
You told me you could hear my heartbeat through my penis but your methods were unethical.
Sixty five beats a minute. I stand by that.
I should have robbed the cradle years ago. Turns out 21 year old boys can cum and still fuck me silly a minute later. My vagina feels like it just won a car from Oprah!
She was blowing air into green onions and tying knots in them to make "balloons"
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