So you're telling me it's impossible to have a "slight case" of chlamydia?
I just farted. And everybody around me is looking at the fat girl to my left. I win.
he aimed his bare ass at the sparkler, farted, and it really did work...i love 4th of july anal fire works
I really hope you aren't where I think you are. Dude she has a MUSTACHE. You need Jesus..
I feel uncockblockable...banged her in the bathroom with my iv still in
he seriously made his penis a facebook.
his teacher called to say he gave a girl on the playground a rock to touch his penis. proudest moment of my fatherhood
I don't remember much but I think I'm wearing your underwear, and for that, I am extremely grateful.
We are without power. He took ALL the lightbulbs out and hid them.
you were like "guys ... i think i got fingered while dancing tonight"
our poor poor cab driver
Someone just walked into the bar with a pillow
I don't know whether to judge him or give him a high five
Obviously. I'm here to let you eat things off my boobs and help you get laid.
I'm seeing double so when I get home can we have a threesome?
Can't feel body but making pizza rolls
To the woman who just heard me unscrew my flask in the Denny's women's bathroom at 10am: discretion isn't required but greatly appreciated.
Did you at least share?
Randomize