Saw a Delta Zeta recruitment poster today. On it, somebody added, "All you need is your daddy's credit card and a lack of self-respect."
You drinking a lot?
No.
Define a lot
Only in college do people pre-game a meteor shower
i really wish i had a remote for my computer. its all the way on my bed while im across the hall puking my brains out to enya. not cool.
Some creeps at the festival started talking to me, so I told them I was going change my tampon. Worked like a charm.
hey dont come home for a while, moms drunk and is telling the story of 'how she met dad at that orgy' again
I'm really proud of her, she waited until she was on tiled floor to start puking on the ground
He was eating her out on the elevator. What a good man.
i have my graded calc test (94%) sitting on my empty case of beer next to my desk. this is me winning at college.
We legitimately thought something was wrong with you until someone pointed out you were just doing the thriller dance
When did angry sex become our thing?
when I woke up, he was drunk and singing "soft kitty" and petting my face
I am the girl who goes to bed with her make-up on so that she doesn't have to fully redo it in the morning. I am obviously not ready to be a mother.
How does that even work?
If I was home I'd be ouija boarding the fuck out of the house, haven't been this high since that day
Y'know i appreciate how accepting you are of me being a terrible person.
Randomize
