I'm afraid that if I tell my sister I think Zachary Quinto is gay I'll have to put her on suicide watch for the next week or so
just woke up and he was jacking off in the corner.. am i being punked?
On blowjobs: "If you decide to go there, you finish the job. No complaining." I don't care if it sounds like she's talking about Iraq, I'm in love.
Apparently, I woke him up at 4AM, and yelled "you're mad because we don't have sex," while grabbing his dick. Then immediately fell back asleep, dick in hand.
The Swedes wanted a tensome.
Do you think the guy at the front desk was watching us last night? Although we were in a public pool, therefore our tits were free game.
I told her I had the flu when in reality I did way too many drugs last night, haven't slept and don't want to sit through a 3 hour buisness meeting trying to figure out which voices are real and which are in my head
I'm out of mixers so I am using sugar water. Times are tough.
I legitimately forgot how to blow my nose just now. Sleep might be handy.
I've got my wine, though it wasnt very good so I threw a sour patch kid in it
Would it be a good deed to leave a 32 pack of bud light next to a bum sleeping in the park?
I'm the Oprah of jello shots
I was gonna make a strong case for you to be my midnight kiss, but poptarts sound good too
While he was going down town Julie brown, I was eating French fries. True Love
her idea of a romantic time is a bottle of jager, some Guacamole and chips.
can't go wrong with guac.
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