Its only 8 and she is already passed out
Perfect here is wht u do. Gently slip your index middle and ring finger into her butt hole but gently u dont wnt to wake her..let me know when ur ready for step 2
My dad just walked in on me screwing the chick from the bar...the look of relief on his face was sort of hurtful.
I puked in the pool and didn't tell them, then they all went swimming. Is it dick to just sit back and enjoy the show?
I was cut off by 8, I need to rethink this breakup therapy strategy
I think that the jello shots in bowls is where it all went wrong.
I was thinking about getting her an edible arrangement for an engagement gift. You want in?
I'm buying her a drink and not telling her to dump his ass. that's my gift.
I had to wash my hair with conditioner because my sister got hammered and gave the dog a 3am sprinkler bath with my shampoo.
He told me he wants to eat me out all day while I lay in bed watching football. Seems like a solid foundation for a relationship to me.
You go to bars with sophisticated older men, I steal lawn ornaments. Priorities
cops tried arresting me on the way to class this morning.. this is my life.
How'd your Tinder date go?
Well, I met his girlfriend...
JEREMY RENNER GOT DIVORCED. I STILL HAVE A CHANCE.
There's nothing like when u really click with a stripper
Definitely the only person to buy 2 handles a 2 bottles of champagne & 3 thirties while wearing a fanny pack
Newest quarantine problem - I’ve watched all of the porn. Like everything on the the internet, all the DVDs, mags, VR, leisure suit Larry all of it and I’m still horny af
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