We had two amazing nights in a row...it was so weird...I couldn't even go to sleep cause I thought maybe it was just in his plot to kill me.
He just spent five minutes trying to sling shot a cheese-it off his dick and into my mouth.
college drinking is stealing all my money, thank god planned parenthood is somewhat free
i havent had this much fun since the last time i farted and it created a boner.
I didn't think moms care packages could get better than greygoose, weed & double stuffed oreos, but she just snet me a chocolate bar full of mushrooms.
whenever he goes down on me he looks at me and I just want to poke him in the eyes
New Years Resolution for 2011 : QUALITY cock. Not quantity.
He kept trying to order 'sex on the tennis courts' for a drink last night
I JUST FOUND AN INTERNATIONAL POLE DANCING CHAMPIONSHIP IN SPANISH
When I picked you up, you were drinking Maker's Mark out of the bottle with a crazy straw.
Cool. Some 22 year old kids gave me a ride home from the bar last night. In related news, I made out with a 22yr old last night. He was adorable
Don't be surprised if I hand out mini dildos on Halloween
I had a dream he was standing in front of me naked and flexing while yelling VICTORY and gizzing all over the floor.
She asked me to come on her OkCupid date with her
The zoom feature on snap chat videos is the worst thing to ever happen to sexting
Randomize
