i need an iv and a liver transplant
Take xtc, wait 20 minutes and then take a shower. Trust me.
is it sad that pink shorts and cowboy hats remind me of getting jizz in the hair?
you got so mad from losing a game of beerpong that you went into another room by yourself and practiced for an hour and a half.
Until he has ordered mozzarella sticks & beers at 2pm while wearing formal attire, then this is still my bar.
The port-a-pottys are knocked over so I have nowhere to sleep.
I remember just enough about last night to wish I didn't remember anything.
We just had father kitten bonding time .. I was on the toilet , he was climbing the animal print shower curtain . It was magical
Quick! What do I wear on a 4 hour road trip with an older guy in the army I had pantomime sex with in a hotel a few months ago?
Dude you went around coming up behind people and whispering in their ears. I dont know what you said but they looked terrified when you left.
I have learned that if you don't want to hook up with the guy who walked you home, food is great compensation.
Not really how I planned to achieve immortality, but I'll take it.
at least he now gets to tell people how he once threw a party so epic that the next day they had to clean some girl's body paint off the ceiling
just hooked up with a guy ON MY CAMPUS VISIT. god only knows whats gonna happen when im actually a student
I just group texted a dick pic. Wonder who'll respond back first. Ashley Stacey or my stepmom
Randomize
