You hurt me so bad and it feels so good
Drinking Grey Goose on the toilet. Don't make me graduate.
After waking up today, I would like to find the Jesus preachers on campus to ask for help in asking for forgiveness to God.
I can't wait to find out the true size of his penis! Please maintain enough sobriety for an accurate report.
btw my roommates send a round of applause to you and that guy you tried to fuck on our wall. Additionally they hope he got it in.
We've already decided our costumes for next Halloween. She's going as Cookie Monster and I'm going as Elmo. She's just going to ask for Oatmeal Cookie shots, and I'm asking for Red-Headed Slut shots.
Dude, its January.
We're going to do the voices too.
Better than last year. I didn't wake up to an after thanksgiving human shit on my living room floor. I think it's a sign I'm growing up at almost 30.
Last time i carry you out of a forest
He's an acquired taste, like S&M or those crunchy things they put in salads
Croutons?
I am naked in a blanket sprawled on my bed eating a pastry. This is all I want out of life. Ever.
Next think I knew I was pretty much using his penis as a microphone... No more playing Eminem during hookups
I understand, but unless there is an intervention for me being planned, i DON NOT want to talk about my life choices
Yes. He better. Or I will shave a penis into his beard while he sleeps.
Poor guy. Tried so hard to get out of the friend zone. I had to make out with someone in front of him to put him in his place.
I'm just imagining Oprah like "you're popping a boner, and you're popping a boner...EVERYONE IS POPPING A BONER"
Randomize
