hey, what are you doing tonight?
sleeping, g'night!
but i wanted to see you :(
sleeping! g'night!(801): i miss you!
stop - you have a right hand - use it!
Desperate + desperate does not equal a fun night.
Spaghetti and Car Bombs, good idea or what will end up on the bar in a few minutes?
You need to get here now. A drunk girl just stumbled into our apartment. shes laying on the floor by our door.
Just saw the hottest 4 garbage men ever. They should make a calendar
bailing my boss out of jail is a great way to spend memorial day
Imagine a baby lion feeding on an injured gazelle and it tasting fresh blood for the first time. That's me and this breakfast sammich
Like many of my risky ideas this has "burned genitals" written all over it
Idk how hard you fucked her, but you managed to leave permanent ass prints on my tempurpedic mattress.
We have sex, then we talk about foreign policy. Its a win-win.
check off brunette on the list of girls tht hit me with there cars and then fucked me later
It was either the harsh truths I was divulging or the liquor..... But either way, I made mom puke
fell down stairs ended up in underground bar now im dancing with trannies and best night of my life. lines of coke
God if that man would just have sex with me every time I got mad life would be so much easier...
I think I was just motorboated by a 4-year old girl.
Randomize
