Well my night just got interesting. I just home from the police station. Hope you had a fun night out!
he started yelling "this is my pussy" mid thrust
Last night he tried to put me in their garbage can and then sprayed me with a fire extinguisher in their kitchen...that house is always interesting
my mom and grandma just had a splits competition. slut runs in the family
What do you think it is?
It's a boy. I know it. She always manages to have a cock inside her somehow.
hes like the used car salesman of hook ups and closed the deal w my taking him home with me,as is,today
Well, find something you can use as a snorkel and be aware of your surroundings.
My roommate made me a peanut butter and sprinkles sandwich. Maybe tonight isn't that bad
I will give you all my nachos to make this happen
I think we got naked. I can't remember but if you have "friends" written on your ass, then we did. Because I have "best" on mine.
I've already dropped her on the ground of a crowded bar dancing , been incoherent drunk to the point i couldn't speak and came within 2 seconds all on separate evenings so at this point she should know what I'm about
I finally got the glitter off in time to get to the party and bang the bday boy in the bathroom while his girlfriend was lighting the bday cake candles.
No. We can't get pedicures until my toenails grow back.
Our office went out together for the first time to celebrate the fact our coworker got fired.
i like beer, sex, and cooking. what more can he want?
Randomize