I think she would actually eat a penis if anyone was brave enough to let one near her mouth
He seems like he has feelings, which is completely unacceptable; esp for a boy in college.
you passed out when you kept trying to hold your breath during the underwater scenes of 2012
idk how it happened. she made a very smooth transition from crying to blowing me
when I picked him up he smelled like cheeseburgers, had a bite mark around his left nipple and we think someone stabbed him in the forehead with a pencil... it was like the Hangover meets Texas Chainsaw Massacre
when we woke up the fish was dead lying next to us on the bed. wat should i tell her
Guy next to me at the plasma center is high and watching porn on his itouch. I am wayy to hung over for this level of poor.
It was the most graceful puke ever. I just thought she dropped something underneath the bar until she told me what happened.
I'll be visiting the rave tower. Prepare your finest boxed wines for my consumption.
Based on your 5AM twitter activity I gather you found MORE FREE COKE??
I'm the one on the patio wearing underwear. Holding a pipe. Pigtail and glasses. Can't miss me.
We're super invested in me shitting to my full potential
I don't remember coming in last night, but apparently I ate a piece of pizza because when I woke up I had pizza crust stuck to the back of my thighs.
we were all too drunk to realize that the cat wasnt yours
I'm pretty sure I smell like alcoholism and shame. And it's not a pretty scent.
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