Holy shit! This guy had his hands and feet handcuffed and was scooting across the interstate and we almost hit him because it was so dark. I hate Louisiana.
The best thing happened. Some guy was butchering Conway Twitty at karoke and the power went off in the whole bar. And someone shouted "you pissed jesus off when you messed with conway!"
just found a sign outside my brothers door "not going to church, don't even try" and he is covered is vomit in his bed.
We watched 'the mighty ducks' last night and took shots every time someone quacked. I woke up this morning wearing a nothing but a hockey jersey laying next to him on the floor. He was wearing a goalie mask. I really wish I knew what happened.
We woke up in an inflatable kiddie pool full of both empty and full beer cans. In the middle of his dad's office. Oh, and we were locked in. Nobody remembers.
I was holding her hair back and when she quit puking she told me she's been saving her scissor virginity for me.
Just rolled over and found your boyfriend in bed with me. Is mine at your house?
I just threw up again because I opened my eyes... God is laughing. I resorted to taking the Mexican Dramamine because I feel seasick from walking. Not helping.
Oh god. I just had a sex dream about the talking dog from the Bush's Baked Beans commercials.
I need to get off of her emotional roller coaster. I've been on it for a fucking year and I've been throwing up the entire time.
PSA- Wearing assless chaps results in embarrassingly painful sunburn
So apparently I tried texting you last night to tell you I wasn't coming home, but all I had typed were lyrics from Evita
People probably think I’m a fangirl bc I go to so many shows but it’s really bc I like fucking the tour manager
I thought this boy told me to choke him, so I went all in. Turns out he really said “stroke.”
Grandma had me open the boxes that were delivered today. She got a sex swing, I've settled on "You go girl" as my official reaction.
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