My cousin just told me i smelled good. She must like the smell of cum.
whore
Bt dubs, I still have cuts on my arm from when you attacked me with a dildo on Saturday night.
Learn some fucking English or leave me alone! "Your" is for something that belongs to you, like 'your herpes'. And "you're" is a contraction for "you are", like "you're not sleeping with me".
Why does Thanksgiving make hot girls feel disgusting and fat girls feel horny? Its killing my prospects.
Women are fucking wierd. I have forgotten this. Divorce papers should come with a handbook.
One step ahead. Always. Roses are red, violets are blue... I'm gonna fuck you with a rake.
I just laid my head on this pillow and I smelt your penis. It was comforting.
Like hey, "you just spent $135k to go to a nobody law school to drive a mini van, be a dj, live in a smalllll ass apartment that smells like cats and your girlfriend fucks other guys."
And think got sick again from going outside naked. Word to all females...don't try the naked trench coat thing.
So did I or did I not flash an entire concert last night?
Oh my god there are animals here. There are actusal animals trying to get him. A giraffe is trying to get in. A giraffee is trying to get in. Is ridiculouss.
You could sing the national anthem right before we have sex. Make it feel like a sporting event
I'm pretty sure I lit a prostitute's cigarette while sharing a pizza with a homeless guy last night
I am a delicate flower. A fucked up, drunk, horny, pants pissing, delicate little flower.
I REALLY NEED TO STOP CELEBRATING THAT FUCKING HOLIDAY
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