that's almost as bad as that time i almost ashed in a baby carriage
Should we discuss the rug burns on my back or just save that for a separate conversation
is it too much to get a jumbo margarita in a sippy cup right now?
Also on a more serious note, what says pull my hair more: straight or soft curls?
Um...any recollection of peeing in the pantry
To sum up. The glass blower from the ren faire ate me out last night. Best ever. Go find yourself an artisan.
Because everyone is allowed one half drunken 7:30 am walk back to campus in a cowgirl costume, right?
I have a big to do list for you. Number 1 - me. Number 2 - drink wine 3. Talk my ears off. 4. Me again
That's like.....u just dangled a sex carrot in front of me then took it away!
I woke up naked under desk at her apt once during my freshman year. I should have known that friendship was of a different breed...
I feel like if you're funneling natty lights on a Wednesday at 2:30pm at the apartment complex pool during finals week, you probably don't have your priorities straight.
Well if homeless lesbian experimenting divorcée is your new M.O., you're gonna need to start drinking more anyway so if that's what it takes to talk about it tomorrow afternoon, bottoms up bitch
He flew in from NY last night. We had sex in the back of my car in the airport parking lot and then he fed me fresh Babka (from Breads Bakery) as I drove him home. I can't decide if I love him or Babka more.
after the ketamine those signs on the bathroom door had little meaning to us
Thank you for stopping me from getting a butt tattoo. That was a good call.
Randomize
