ugh.. my birth control just came out of my nose. wtf?
highlight of my day: just saw a crying girl get dropped off at home wearing only socks, booty shorts, and a dirty wifebeeter. I wonder what happened to the costume...
at the gym hungover with vodka in a water bottle. don't say i'm not fulfilling my resolutions
i left him drunk and in the fetal postion in the shower.
was the water running?
yeah but he said he knows how to swim
We convinced her the game "just the tip" was a billiards game. She was asking a couple guys if they wanted to play as we left. I kinda don't want to ask her how the rest of the night went.
Don't make me out to be the bad guy. You practically MADE me cum on your food.
when i got there he was on top of an air mattress in the middle of the pool with a bag of doritos and a 40 telling people he needed his space.
He broke up with his gf yesterday so he could give me our annual Christmas sex at midnight.
Marry him. Now.
Just threw up. It looks like I may have swallowed a cigarette.
I just used crown royal bags as pot holders...
just so you know.. snorkeling hungover: great decision. I was throwing up and he couldn't even tell!
But like it was sooo bad! At one point he tried to flip me over and he fell off the bed
1st date with cop went weird. He yelled at me & we had a horrible date. Walking to the car I tripped & started bleeding & then he made out with me. Is it wrong that I want to see him again?
THIS IS WHY YOU NEED THERAPY!
I may or may not be drinking in a church parking lot.
i asked your drunk ass where the fuck you were going and you screamed “WENDY’S BITCH”.
Randomize
